Pretty sure "Jesus Calling" was written for me...

Have you ever read a book or heard a sermon that feels like it was written for your life? So convicting...so freeing. That's how I feel about Jesus Calling. The author, Sarah Young, prayed through a year and wrote down the things that the Lord spoke to her. I tell you, every single day is exactly what my heart needs to hear on that specific day. I wanted to share yesterday's devotional.

"Bring me your weakness, and receive My Peace. Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering that I am sovereign over everything. Do not wear yourself out with analyzing and planning. Instead, let thankfulness and trust be your guides through this day; they will keep you close to Me. As you live in the radiance of My Presence, My Peace shines upon you. You will cease to notice how weak or strong you feel, because you will be focusing on Me. The best way to get through this day is step by step with Me. Continue this intimate journey, trusting that the path you are following is headed for heaven."

Oh hey, Jesus...

I have no idea if any of you are like this in any way, but I overanalyze and think about things until it makes me crazy. I process things by talking about them a thousand times over...God bless my dearest friends. Needless to say, reading these words was pretty hard for me. I don't think that God would ever say to not be thoughtful about my life, but it's a serious problem when my trust in the Lord falls to the side because I think I can figure it all out on my own.

I also love the part about weaknesses. I have been in a season of my life where I'm learning so much about myself and the areas of life where I find strength and weakness. It's times where I'd rather dwell on where my pursuit of holiness is lacking where Jesus meets me and reminds me that it's not even about that anyways...that I can depend on Him. That He will love me through these learning experiences and have plenty of doses of grace along the way. That his desire for my becoming more like Him is the most precious and worthwhile part of life.

Sometimes I wish that Jesus could fly down (if he flies...I would like to imagine that he does) and sit in Panera bread with me...telling me what to expect, the timing of it all, and how things will work out in the end. But then...where's the adventure or faith in that?

Crazy times...

I didn't realize how long it had been since I updated this thing until I checked and saw that it was at the beginning of this semester! I was reading my blog from the beginning of the semester and laughed to myself about the expectations (or lack thereof) that I had for what Jesus could accomplish in these past few months. There was a ton of anxiety with dear friends moving out of town, a lack of passion for school, and generally low expectations for anything exciting happening. It's funny how I could not have been more wrong.

There is one thing that I feel like God has been speaking to me pretty consistently throughout this semester, and it's this: Be faithful to me...in the big and small things...and just see what I can do!

There have been so many different things that have happened in the last couple months that have required me to be honest with myself and with others about what's on my heart. High school Brittany would have chosen to not share anything and to live out of the fear and anxiety of what could happen if I actually let myself be where I am. I could not be more thankful that the Lord just wouldn't let me do that in this season.

Some of the exciting things that Jesus has been doing lately...

I'm going to India. My heart pretty much screams when I think about it. Even for a second. I've felt like God has been calling me to go there since early high school. It's happening, people. I'm going with the most fabulous group of people from our campus ministry. We'll be working with a children's home and will be gone for 2 weeks. God is already using this to restore so many things and the trip isn't even until August. I just get teary eyed when I think of God's faithfulness. It's written all over this, and I cannot be more thankful.

I have a boyfriend. What?! I am so thankful for this season of my life, and, of course, the man that I get to experience it with! In the short time that we've been dating, God has been teaching me so much about myself and how my heart works. I've been learning more and more about my insecurities and how Jesus can ease them when I allow Him to. I'm excited for this year!

Gradschoooolllll. Unless Jesus decides to change His mind, I'm pretty sure that I'm staying in Orlando and will attend grad school at UCF. I'm going to go for a masters in Mental Health Counseling. I can't wait. I really feel like counseling will be something that I will be passionate about for life. Now just to get through the rest of undergrad to get there...and to enjoy every minute of it!

If ya'll want to join me in prayer for a few things, I'd be so appreciative!

• Support for India. I am totally confident in the Lord's faithfulness, but prayer won't hurt! I'll be raising most of the support through prayer/support letters, so prayers that the Lord would put it on people's hearts to support the mission would be great! Also, if you're interested in receiving a letter yourself, email me at brittany.n.baker@gmail.com.
• I start my first internship this semester and I'm just not finding myself to be very excited about it. Prayers that God would put passion in my heart for the children that I get to work with would be so wonderful!

Wishing you all the happiest new year!

August Awesomeness

August is quickly shaping up to be the best month of my life.

1. I go on vacation to Savannah, GA for a week with my family.
2. My birthday present from my parents is a spa day which will be taking place on said vacation.
3. Staff and leadership retreat are happening!
4. I'm going to Georgia with Becca to visit people and go to Constantine's hometown and restaurant (from the Bachelorette!)!!!!! Don't judge us. It's definitely going to be the most awesome weekend ever.
   
5. Kris and Sarah are getting married!!
6. I'm going to Clearwater with Lindsay, Logan, and James. The darned awesome hell raisin' bakers will be reunited!
7. Hopefully at some point I will be making a trip down to Miami with Lauren to visit Aamir!!
   
8. And then...school starts.
   

It may seem strange that I'm excited for school to start, but really, I'm just excited for the people that I love and miss to return to Orlando. I'm also really excited to meet all the students who will be involved with Freshley this year!

I can't believe that I'll be entering into my senior year...college has been such a whirlwind. I've had some anxiety recently about this upcoming year and what it will look like with so many people who are dear to me moving out of Orlando to pursue what the God has called them to, but the Lord has been giving me peace about it. I tend to underestimate God's goodness and am always pleasantly surprised with what He has to teach me each year. Ultimately, I'm so very blessed by the people I get to live life with and by the God who has so much patience with me. I can't wait to see what this school year holds!

Laziest dilemma ever!

I was talking to my friend Nicole about how I was feeling super lazy and didn't feel like going upstairs to get ready for bed...here's how the conversation went:

Me: So I have this dilemma...where I want to go to bed, but don't want to go upstairs and get ready for bed. LAZY LAZY LAZY.

Nicole: Well, this sounds serious.

Me: Doesn't it, though?

Nicole: We need to figure out a way for you to work through it...

Me: Counsel me Nicole...

Nicole: I think your best bet would be to stand up. Lol...I'm not good at this.

Me: LOL

Nicole: Just suck it up and walk up those stairs!

Later on...

Nicole: BRITTTANY! Man up and get your butt upstairs! Brush your teeth and wash your face!...Did it work?

I love friends who are so honest...and hilarious!

The Voice

So I'm sitting here in the office watching The Voice with Lindsay and I thought that I should record some of our thoughts from the performances.

Brittany:

• "Frenchie always picks songs that I like...that's probably the only reason I like her."
• I love Dia. So much. If I could transplant a voice to my vocal chords it would be hers. Really, it would be Javier's, but it might freak people out if I started singing like a man.
• Dia kicked some ask! (yes...I meant what I typed...see youtube video)
  
• I don't know what I feel about Casey yet. I don't think we'd be friends in real life but she's got some talent.
• Casey looked like an angel in her little dress...and her little shoes. (Actually...the cowboy boots were really strange with that dress...not a fan).
• I just keep hoping Adam will ask me to marry him.
• "It's a Fancy Feast commercial...which makes it awesome."
• I wasn't a fan of Blake Shelton before this show...but he absolutely melted my heart with how he cares for his team! Oh my goodness gracious...
• "Good thing you can't vote, Lindsay." (regarding her desire to vote for Xenia over Dia...)
  

Lindsay:

• "Please don't do another sex song!" (referring to Nakia)
• "I just wish you would cut your hair and shave some of your beard...that would make me happy" (even though this is about the VOICE....hmmm)
• Lindsay wasn't so sure that Dia's song was a good choice...she changed her mind.
• "You just think she's hot!" (referring to Adam referring to Casey)
• "Barf" (referring to Casey saying she's been in love at 18)
• "Does he love Jesus?" (referring to my love for Adam)
• "Eww! I do not want to be taken by the tongue! K thanks bye!" (talking about the song Adam and Christina sang)
• Lindsay did not like the Fancy Feast commercial. hahahahaha
• "I want to be hugged by Blake Shelton"
• "Brittany...you need to go on The Voice so that Blake can be your papa bear...don't make it weird."
  

Lindsay's choice to win: "Oh my gosh...Javier!"
Brittany's choice to win: Javier...duh.

Lindsay's choice to win (excluding Javier...which would be tragic): Xenia
Brittany's choice to win (excluding Javier...which would be tragic): Dia!!! Holla!

Life...

So I was downstairs in my house and a book on the table by the door grabbed my attention: Abba's Child. I think it might be Erika's book, but I was bored and had heard really great things so I grabbed it and went upstairs to read a little bit of it. After reading the first chapter, I have no doubt that it was Jesus that moved my eye to that table and had me pick up this book.

I've been struggling lately with the concept of giving myself grace when my heart just doesn't follow what my head knows is right. Sometimes I find myself dealing with some emotional stuff that I used to scoff at when I was younger and I just refuse to allow myself to be where I am in the journey of healing from it. I'm not sure if you ever feel that way, but I decided that I needed to share this passage from the book, just in case...

"To feel safe is to stop living in my head and sink down into my heart and feel liked and accepted...not having to hide anymore and distract myself with books, television, movies, ice cream, shallow conversation...staying in the present moment and not escaping into the past or projecting into the future, alert and attentive to the now...feeling relaxed and not nervous or jittery...no need to impress or dazzle others or draw attention to myself...Unself-conscious, a new way of bieng with myself, a new way of being in the world...calm, unafriad, no anxiety about what's going to happen next...loved and valued...just being together as an end in itself."

I'm praying that I might be able to live out what the passage talks about...learning to accept myself with all of my weird quirks and struggles, not in spite of them. You know...like Jesus does.

Love you guys...

When you ask Jesus to make you dependent on Him..

...you better believe he will follow through!

Wesley (the campus ministry that I'm involved in) is challenging us this week in several areas of our life to really give ourselves to the Lord and make ourselves dependent on Him. Let's just say it's beautiful, challenging, fruitful, sucky, and necessary all at once.

Along with the corporate things that Wesley is doing, I decided to get off of FB for a week. I seriously sat and debated my decision about that for 20 minutes or so. Hello, it was so necessary. I just want this week to be about me setting my priorities where they should be. In order to do that, I sometimes have to just totally take myself from the things of this world that distract me and then slowly allow them back into my life in reasonable amounts. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl so this "in moderation" lifestyle has never come easy to me.

Something to look forward to this weekend is Women's Retreat! I have a hard time believing that it's already upon us and I absolutely cannot wait to spend my weekend with some incredible women who love the Lord. Then...the Bahamas! I can't even believe that in a week and a half I will be on an airplane with our Freshley team on our way to do some construction work and love on some Bohemian people. It's freaking me out...in such a good way. If you want, join me in prayer that the Lord would start preparing everyone involved. He's sure to work amazing things in every heart.